Autumn

Autumn.

Autumn happens for me thrice a year, which I suppose makes me rather special.

But for me, autumn isn't a season, a time of year or even a colour scheme - damn you, you property programs.

No, to me it's a a series of events that happen every year, where ever I've been. Each on it's own can anytime, anywhere...but they never do.

The first happened weeks ago. It's a thing of sunlight and colour - as you drive or walk somewhere, the setting sun streaming across before you. The leaves on trees all golden, yellow and red - that surprise, because you've seen one tree or two in colour - but the striking sight of them all in golden sunlight.

That moment of realisation that the end is in sight. Not here yet, or even near - but inevitable.

Sight is the first - but the second is smell. This time, here, it happened last night. Dusk, late in the afternoon...the world around you in dying shades of grey. The sun, now gone...

The mist and fog swirling - but in the air, catching at your throat like the echo of great sorrow the tang, the tickle of woodsmoke in the evening air stroking the back of your throat. Permeating the air around you, the burning of wood to drive back the cold and hunger of night.

Finally...last of all comes the moment when all around you is dark. Through the windows you see nothing but darkness and lights. Not yet six o'clock and the people hide in their homes. All desperately trying to deny the truth - that the night has won again.

That the sun and moon have lost to the stars, fleeing the sky from a terrible force they can never defeat.

Winter.

And winter is here.

The temptation to ask a question.

This morning I was working in a Sexual Health Clinic, sorting out a minor issue that required administrator rights and someone on-site to poke it till it behaved.

Anyway, I was sitting there in the office, allowing the hustle and bustle of office life to flow around me. Phones ringing, people talking...

Now - I don't know about anyone else, but I can't not understand words. If I'm there, and I can hear them clearly....even if I'm reading, typing or really not paying attention, they're still there.

It's that same trick men all over the world use - the ability to recite the last few lines of a conversation, the moment a women says "You aren't listening". We might not have been, but the words are there...

Where was I? Ah, sitting in a sexual health clinic not listening, as a phone rang.

The young lass on the picked it up..."Yes, this is a sexual health clinic...yes....yes....of course...we do everything..."

At this point I heard what she said, choked on my tea (yep, I'll happily go back to that place, they made me tea first thing on a cold Monday morning) and I resisted. It was an effort, but...well...

At that moment there was nothing I wanted to do more then turn to her and say, stressing every syllable one at a time:

"You do...Everything...?"

Zombie Films

I'm quite a zombie film fan - no, really.

There's quite a lot I enjoy about them - the madness, the weirdness...the death, destruction and mayhem...

I admit, the occasional, really scantily clad young thing does help a little - even if some of the best films don't have one.

But...well....Land of the Dead, by George A. Romero.

I'm disappointed.

No, that doesn't cover it. I'm hugely disappointed by a film that should have been an A1 film. It's..well...junk. It really is.

The early films were good as films. The first - trapped in a house, zombies coming in huge waves.

The second - a shopping mall, the perfect place to survive, or not....

The third I admit I slept through. But this? It has perhaps one interesting quality - and that's not enough to save a film. One interesting character.

This was not a film about zombies. It wasn't a film about survival, rescue or horror. There was no romance or love, no gratuitous sex scene or comedy.

Nope - this film was about social parody and statement. How the rich rule the poor.

I had hopes - really, high hopes. I thought that perhaps this film might be an intelligent treatment of how man might survive the coming zombie apocalypse. A tale of a people built on the decaying corpse of the 20th century.

A people pulling together to forge a future - if not a bright one, then at least something that only comes in shades of blood and rot.

One day, one day...

Vulnerable people...

While I was driving to a site today, I made a mistake.

Rare I know, but I'm not too proud to admit to them on those uncommon occasions.

This mistake was...well...not the first time I'd made this one. You see, I made the mistake of assuming that the recent banking crisis would be equally bad for everybody. That loosing a thousand points off the FTSE 100 would hurt everyone.

Job losses are bad for everyone in the economy, right?

Well...apparently...no. For you see, I tuned into women's hour on radio 4 part way through a program. And as far as the presenter and guest was concerned, this whole issue would hit women hardest.

They seem convinced that women would be caused immense trouble by the downturn and that now of all times their rights (guaranteed by laws, some very recent) should be protected with extra vigilance.

Now here's the thing - if the law mandates that a certain part of the population has more rights then another part, should you as an employer ignore this?

For the last I don't know how many years programs like Women's hour have campaigned for extra rights for female workers. Over time, they have got rights.

And - finally - they've appeared to realise that these rights are not cost neutral - that somewhere along the line there is some company paying for them. These companies that are struggling in the current recession.

And that this makes women more vulnerable.

But instead of addressing the core problems - that hiring replacements for women on maternity leave for a year costs money - no, instead of addressing the issue, the cause of the problem - cost - they can only suggest the wrong way.

Greater enforcement of the rules that are causing a problem that they wanted in the first place.

--

And before you start - I'm all for rights for women.

But every right has a cost. So I believe in reasonable rights.

The road to hell...

I could talk about the banking crisis. The insanity that is politics....but I'll make my point a different way.

The problem with any plan to improve the world - any part of it, from the financial system to your local street - is unexpected side effects. One cause of the sub prime mortgage mess is the US Government encouraging lending to the less well off, because owning your own home is good for society at large.

So take the game of Dungeons and Dragons - D&D. You've seen my hand wringing before about making characters, my agonising over effectiveness. So this time, for that Canadian who's smarter then me - for his game I decided to throw away efficiency - and go with the Roleplay.

We're in a swamp...surrounded with marsh and mud. About the only semi-sentient race in 20 leagues are lizard men and pirates....so lizard man it is.

Magic using lizard men are rare...so it's fighter and barbarian to choose from. But lizard men are a primitive race. They've not entirely mastered the art of fire...spears really are the height of technology...sounds perfect for a barbarian...who kills his foes with his teeth while in a killing frenzy.

Yep, very roleplay. Barbarians can't even write....perfect sense in a swamp. It'll just decay anyway...

It was at this point the DM suggested something. I'm not going to say what....but it's a little extra bit of roleplay. Took a few weeks to agree on it, as it's mostly homebrew.

So far, so good.

So I toddle along to the DM's home and arrive a little early. I make a list of everything Hrissis starts with.

It takes a whole page of paper.

Then a role some dice. In full view of everyone, I got a nice set of numbers to work with. Not unusually high. I've had better - but nothing to complain about.

So after a little work - number crunching, copying out information, thinking of a name...we have Hrissis. And once again the road to hell has found us.

Made with only the intention of being a good "roleplay" character we have Hrissis. Starting with upto three attacks (compared to the usual one) he has a standard attack of +10 (compared to the typical +9) with 1d4+6 damage, for an average of 8.5 - which is the same as for a normal barbarian. So what's so bad about this?

Why do I say he's on the pathway to hell?

Because at the drop of a hat he can go to three attacks at +12 for 1d4+8 damage. So about as good as THREE equivalent level characters.

And did I mention he's naked??

If when playing a simple game you can accidentally screw up by a factor of three - what makes governments, charities or ANYONE ELSE think they can avoid unintended side effects??

For the children

Everybody has to pay some tax.

It's the only practical way to fund things along the lines of road networks, police, defense...and I don't argue with this. Because it's for the greater good.

Not some mythical "For the greater good" which some politicians seem to believe in. No, for a strictly observable and demonstrable greater good that you can point to. "Look, you see that road? We paid for that!"

This isn't a problem to me.

This is opposed to such things as- *takes a deep breath and tries to calm down* - just look at the policies of your local governments. If it has the word "empowering" in the description it's probably an example of a fluffy "for the greater good" policy. I could find one, but it's bad for my blood pressure.

No...I couldn't resist. A few days ago the UK Prime Minister announced that that 300 million pounds would be available to give broadband to the families of poor children.

Surely this is a good idea, right? Well...actualy...no. Free internet access is available throughout most of the UK. No - really, it is. Go to your local library to access the freely available government (ie, tax payer) funded internet.

But surely it's good for the Children? Won't someone just think of the children??

Oh - yes, the children. Let's try and help the children.

Let's not be cynical and think that it's one of a number of last ditch attempts to salvage a dying administration. After all, it's not like they arn't 20% behind in the polls.

But lets look at the details of the scheme. They're proposing vouchers of upto £700 per poor family, means tested of course.

Thats...£700....well, lets see. I can order a stock, off the shelf computer from here for a shade under £200. That's for a single system, one off, from a for-profit company. Imagine the discount they'd offer for say, a thousand?

I admit, I wouldn't want to use this computer myself - but that's because I play games. We're not talking about providing games machines for the poor, but internet machines. I'd bundle office type apps with it as well...

But lets stick with £200. Because I don't believe in feeding evil empires, I'd say ignore windows and stick linux on the beast. Easier to maintain, manage and control. Oh, and it's free. Even with office apps and other toys - it's free.

But how much would it cost to use it as an internet machine?

Now, as to the cost of internet...if we were to go with a cheap dial up modem connection they're available for less then 5p per minute. That's £3 per hour...to be honest, for an hour a week that's rather expensive. For a year that's £150. Hmmm.

Broadband....with 30 seconds of hunting I can find this - internet for £10/month, broadband. Not a great service....certainly won't handle large downloads or the like - but it is enough for academic work. For all of £120 a year, constant access...

Assuming the computer is on for 4 hours a day, with a 250 watt power supply, at 10p/KWH, that's..um...£36.50 over the year in electricity.

So for a year I can get a family online for HALF what the government wants to spend, using FOR PROFIT companies. But the government seems to have forgotten something. You can't give computers away to people who don't know how to use them without providing support.

That's were I'd stick all the money made from the bulk orders. Technical support and educational materials available through the system. How do you make enough money to support that? Well, take the broadband package - get it near cost.

But allow the company to sell the users a cheap and very easy upgrade to increase their maximum download per month. Allow them to make a profit on it. Not a huge one...but enough to make it worth their while...

All in all, this scheme could be made to be very workable. It really could. Back of envelope numbers say I can give one million families internet access. (Compared to the governments

If it wasn't for a very basic point. Why are we providing it in the first place?

The government finances are in a bad way - credit crunch, falling tax revenue while costs are increasing. Why increase spending for something that could have minimal effect?

And why are we means testing this? If parents can't afford the internet, why make a distinction between those who can't quite...and those who don't work?

In my eyes, this is another government handout to the "poor and needy" - read "Long term unemployed with children" in order to buy votes and look good.

This could be a good scheme, maybe. Maybe.

But to be honest?

I believe it has as much chance of actually working on budget, with any significant and measurable improvement to education as...as....as likely as reasonable gun control laws in the UK.

No chance.

Articles of faith

There are many articles of faith that people hold.

Some of these hold true - so far, the sun has always risen tomorrow. Things fall down. The more complicated something is the more ways there are for it to go wrong.

Other articles of faith are unprovable - there is a god. He cares. There is intelligent life on Earth.

Then...then there's the ones that really do deserve a good fisking behind the bikeshed. (And if you don't know what a fisking is, look it up! It's possibly not what you think)

But today I choose to attack the belief that women make better drivers.

You see, I believe that anyone can be a bad driver - and as my evidence I present this:

It was the ultimate expression of road rage. A furious woman driver died after ramming another vehicle and spinning her wheels so fast that her own car
burst into flames.
Serena Sutton-Smith, 54, burnt to death after refusing to get out of her Vauxhall Nova as she sat with her foot flat on the accelerator.
She spun the wheels so fast that her tyres disintegrated and the metal rims sent a shower of sparks into the engine, igniting the brake fluid and setting the car on fire.
Appalled onlookers urged her to get out of the car as the flames licked around her but she told them to “F*** off”, an inquest in Gloucester was told.

Now, I'm not saying that men are better drivers.

I'm just saying be careful....you never know who's in the other car.

They're all equally dangerous.