Christmas

There are somethings about Christmas that doesn't change.

There is always cheese. This I don't object to.

But then, so things do. Another year passed.

Things end, things begin. What you loose you loose forever.

And the BBC keep screwing up Dr Who.

Rage

I am not an angry person.

But it's 45 minutes till Christmas and I am filled with RAGE and ANGER because of multiple FAIL on someone else's part.

And for added fun they're blaming me.

Yet still I do not shout or rant.

Maybe they'll make me feel better?

If the police are here by morning, it wasn't me...

Change isn't always good

I'm sitting here, first thing in the morning, listening to the radio.

All I can hear is some women from the committee (I can't remember which body, it's too early!) going on about how cheques are dying and how we should set a date to abolish their use.

That less then one in a thousand transactions are cheque based.

All I can say is "you muppets!". All their arguments are being based around the fact that big businesses don't like them because they are a relatively expensive way (for them) to be paid.

About the only defense that seems to be made is that the elderly use them most.

But then, I use cheques on a regular basis. If I need to give someone like a friend or family money I almost certainly use a cheque. Small associations I belong to - they get cheques. When (ok, *if* I give to a charity) it's via small change - or a cheque.

I paid for a weekend break in January with a cheque.

People use them because for a certain class of transaction you can't replace them.

Just because it's 300+ years old does not mean we need to replace them.

Besides - think of the language.

Cheque please!

They're missing the point...

In The Times recently....

A review of road safety announced yesterday could reduce the drink-drive limit to the equivalent of one pint of beer and introduce a new drug-drive limit.

British motoring bodies believe a lower limit would reduce fatalities compared with the 430 people killed by drink-driving last year.

The point they are missing?

Well, there are two possible reasons that this might alter the number of fatalities.

First, those people who are already breaking the law by driving while drunk stop driving because of the new limit. This I doubt. Strongly.

Secondly, the number of people who have accidents while driving while over the limit increases - because the limit is set to a lower value. This will increase the number killed by a process known as "moving the goal posts".

(The real question is how many of these deaths are caused by alcohol, how many from increasing the number of journeys included in the statistics. But that's a sensible question that isn't answered...)

A little thought experiment for you all

As you may have noticed, on occasion I complain about public figures in the UK. So lets try a little thought experiment, shall we?

Imagine a little boy - picture him in your mind.

He's about 3, blond, wearing one of those old fashioned white and blue sailor suits that you see every now and again.

Now beat him with a pool cue till he's unconscious.

It's not nice, is it? It's monstrous, wrong and something that should never happen.

Picture his cousin - same age, a sweet little girl who only wants a pony. Beaten with the same pool cue.

Both are equally objectionable. Both leave you feeling sick to the stomach, if you really try and imagine it.

But in recent days there's been news coverage about violence - lets quote a few of the usual suspects, with our little thought experiment in mind.

Prime Minister Gordon Brown said violence against women and girls was "an obscenity".

Harriet Harman, minister for women and equality, said tackling violence against women and girls was "one of the government's top priorities".

She said the strategy called Together we can end violence against women and girl, focused on prevention, which was "critical" to long-term change.

"We have to work to change attitudes in order to eliminate violence against women and girls and to make it clear beyond doubt that any form of violence against women is unacceptable," she said.

It's quite clear here - they only care about their precious victims - if they fit the right profile. The right media image.

I believe we should stamp out violence - not against women and girls. Not women and children.

I believe we should stomp on violence.

Why discriminate?

Cold blooded

You know what it's like. You feeling ill, under the weather and debating if you should call in sick.

So you dig out a digital thermometer to check if you have a temperature or not.

And it turns out you do. It's 36.0 degrees.

You can't even get as far as the average 37 degrees required to be normal.

Let alone fevered.

The other day...

The other day there was a power cut at one of our sites. These things happen.

Still, I happened to be there at the time and while the power was out I needed to do things. So I happily bounced along the corridor to my destination, where I met a couple of secretaries.

They were saying it's too dark to go any further down this dark corridor, that they couldn't see and they wanted a torch.

What I wanted to say was "There's plenty of light. There's enough to see you're wearing slightly opaque seamed stockings, after all".

But that would get me fired, as HR have no sense of humour. So I just told them not to worry and to get on with it. At which point they seemed to go off in a huff.

Was that not what I was supposed to say?

What were they thinking?

What were they thinking - or were they not thinking at all?

Quoted from The Times,

Professor Nutt was sacked after criticisms he had made of the Government’s drugs policy were published in a paper by the Centre for Crime and Justice at King’s College London. The comments were made in a lecture he delivered in July, in which he said that Ecstasy and LSD were less harmful than alcohol and cigarettes. He also criticised the decision to upgrade cannabis to class B.

So what we have here is a scientist giving a lecture where he gives an honest opinion to a group of people.

This is usually called teaching.

If those who listen agree with your points and find them reasonable, with good enough evidence to reference them in a work of their own this is usually considered a WIN condition by scientists.

They fired a scientist for being a scientist.

Muppets.

Fail.

Lets imagine, if you will, you are a giant computer software company.

You've got your own operating system and a messenger system. You would imagine that one would work on the other flawlessly.

One hundred percent of the time, perfect running. Provided that the internet is on and no security issues exist. Or - maybe not.

Allow me to introduce Microsoft Messenger. Despite being on a perfectly stable, boring Windows XP setup it refuses to connect to the internet. Which is on. Nothing running that would cause problems.

But if you reboot it *may* work.

If they can't get something as simple as a chat client to work reliably why do we trust them with an OS?

Flexibility

There's something truly fascinating about language.

It's the way that a term can change in meaning, context to context - and how it can be used with multiple meanings at the same time.

I had a conversation yesterday that will remain with me for a long time. It involved the word "single".

Usually used to describe an individual object or unattached person.

In LARP used as SINGLE, a damage call that indicates a single point of damage, that typically can't be used more then once a second. So "Single....single...single" would be the slowest rate you could inflict damage.

Where as to me now (and to one other twisted individual) it now refers to something that should never happen. Which is beyond bad and wrong. And funny beyond belief.

And yet - and yet every time I now use the word, which will be almost every time I go LARPing I will be reminded of this conversation. And I will be smiling, no matter how inappropriate.

Language - possibly the greatest thing we've ever made. Certainly the funnyist.

There are some things I can't resist...

On my way to a LARP event last weekend I had to walk from a rail station to the bar - only a mile or two, not a bad walk.

With cloak flowing behind me.

As you would imagine, this changes the way people respond to you. They tend to give you more space - and you're definitely Seen. People really do look twice.

But sometimes...

In this case, not 100 yards from the station as I stormed along (why stormed? Because it feels good with the cloak) but was stopped by a startled family of tourists.

I knew they were tourists because there was a family, clearly from somewhere like to Japan, China or somewhere else in that area. Expensive cameras, very poor English...and they asked me in their fashion "Are you prince Harry?".

To the best of my knowledge, I look nothing like him. Nor do I know if he has a thing for black fantasy costumes and cloaks.

I should have said no. Or shaken my head. But I couldn't resist.

I was in LARP mode. I looked left...then right. Turning to them I put my finger to my lips and said but one word.

"Shhhhssh".

They were excited by this.

Online madness

I have a boredom threshold that varies between saint like patience and a three year old's - you may have noticed.

So there I was, having already done what the instructor wanted us to do - so I thought I'd have a look to see how much the last book in the wheel of time set would cost me.

Web browser, amazon.co.uk...and stop.

Because I'm looking at the list of recommended products - and it's madness.

The machine had no history with the site, no amazon user was logged in. And what did it recommend?

Windows 7 - How much did Microsoft pay for that??
Shoes - Nope, not what I'm after..
Jeans - I need some, but I'd much rather try them on first - fail.
Coats - No thankyou...
Dresses - Just no.
PC/video games - Possibly, but I've just not got the time.
Cutlery - What??
Lamps - WHY??!?

So of all the possible recommendations the could possibly suggest not one is that for which they are famous.

Books.

Mornings

Mornings

I'm not a huge fan of mornings - atleast, not if I have to be awake.

But I've found a reason to love them. Well, to not hate them.

Work have sent me off on a training course (which was kind of them) - then only catch is that I have to leave at 7am, probably not back till 7pm.

This tends to leave me just a tad tired. However...there is an upside. We're car sharing on the way down and because my car is so small, I can't drive us.

Under work terms and conditions, I can claim the additional travel time as time off in lieu.

That is, I can claim the time I spend sleeping in someone elses car on the way down as time off in lieu.

They're paying me to sleep.

Yay.
--

There will be mails and things to people tomorrow. I will write them on the netbook during the drive.

Self harming

I'd always thought that self harming was a thing people did on their own. Probably in private. It would appear that this is not the case...

Have a look here.

Royal Mail postal workers have voted to take strike action over job security and working conditions.

They voted three to one in favour of action, with 61,623 out of a total of 80,830 workers who voted saying they wanted to strike.

Now, given this is a service for which there are alternatives, does this strike you as a good idea? I mean, really?

Given that..

The company says the number of letters and parcels its core business delivers is falling by 10% each year

Do they really think that striking will in any way improve things? Have the regional strikes done anything but loose things (like, say, birthday things sent to Canada)?

Nope. Every strike will bleed the industry a little more.

Muppets.

Things not to say at work...

I was talking to someone on the phone at work, while waiting for something to happen. This isn't such a rare thing, as moving anything across the network can take a measurable amount of time.

So there we were, talking about the sort of thing you might say to someone you've never met and don't know. I've had some weird conversations like this - and this one turned to fitness.

She had just joined a gym, was very enthusiastic about it and tried to persuade me it would be a Good Thing to pick a goal and to run with it.

So I thought and said "Yes, I've got a goal. I want to be able to keep up with Katie"

Which lead on to why keeping up with Katie was so hard. "Well, she wears chainmail and plate armour and can run faster then I can - just carrying myself".

The silence on the other end of the line lasted for some considerable time...

(22:40 > )

Bad time to remember things

Things not to remember as you rest in warm blankets.

That the road tax is due *today*. So now I can curl up in the (now cold) blankets and try to get to sleep.

Sometime later then intended.

(2330: 0750. *Tired*)

Tell people what to do

We're in a recession

You may have noticed. I don't think the Unions have...http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article6836208.ece

Now, I'm not here to talk about high heels - if women should wear them or not. My point of view is biased.

What I find so laughable here is the attitude of the unions and their speakers. Examples? Well...

The exact motion that was passed was: “High heels may look glamorous on the Hollywood catwalks but are completely inappropriate for the day-to-day working environment.”

Important point: the unions are the largest donor to the labour party. They have great influence with them.

So here we have a group that helps the current government set policy complaining about what people wear.

Right now there's a RECESSION happening. But they're not talking about how to help companies, organisations and employers get through this, saving as many jobs as possible.

About the innovative steps being taken by some private sector companies. No. They're worried that women may choose to wear shoes that they disprove of.

They've lost the plot, the book...and possibly reality.

(This was written at the time, but I've been a tad lax...)

Drugs!

As you may have noticed I'm a fan of letting people behave like adults - and of cost effective, sane social policy

Which is why when I saw the article here I realised that this would never make it into general policy under the current govenment.

What is it? Well, it's a way of dealing with drug addicts. It's a very simple policy. You give them what they want, under medical supervision.

Sounds daft, right? Support their evil, self destroying habbits.

But lets look at the (limited) details of the study as presented by the BBC.

Number of Heroin addicts given heroin on request: 39
Cost of scheme per user per year: Aprrox 15,000
Number of crimes commited in month before scheme: 1731
Number of crimes commited in last month of scheme: 547

Ok, lets look at this. 1731-547 = 1184 crimes "saved"
1184/39 = 30.35 crimes per user saved in the last month

So a fair approximation would be the scheme saved one crime per user per day. Which makes a degree of sense - you need a fix, you steal something to pay for it. The next day, rinse and repeat.

So over the course of a year, that's about 365 crimes saved. At a total scheme cost of 15,000 / 365 = 41 pounds per crime saved.

Now, is a crime worth 41 pounds. It would save on...

1) Police time
2) Less cases in criminal justice system
3) Less insurance claims and premiums
4) Less ordinary people suffer crime and it's affects

That would save the public money, I"m fairly sure.

Then we can factor in a few other things...

1) Less drug addicts in jail
2) Far fewer possession crimes
3) No overdoses caused by uncertain drug purity
4) Reduced cases of diseases caused by dirty needles
5) Organised crime and gangs loosing major income source

Over all, I'm fairly sure you could make a very good economic case for this. I'm certain that in the long run (hell, the short to medium term!) you would at the very least break even.

As it stands now we've failed to prevent this. These people are ALREADY addicted. Threatening them with jail isn't going to help. They are already a problem to society.

Is there any better way to deal with them?

Feeling guilty

Yep, I feel guilty.

I've just done a 11 hour day at work, feeling like I could fall asleep any moment. I'll probably be asleep the minute I close my eyes tonight.

And yet I feel guity - we're so under-manned at work...and I took a whole day off ill yesterday.

Ah well. Same again tomorrow...

Oh so tired

To give you an idea of how much fun I have at Maelstrom, here's a description of how badly my event went...

1) I slept through at least 12 hours of game time (I think I might actualy be slightly ill)
2) I only managed one complete experiment with my partner in experimental theology
3) I slept through the finding of something that would have been really, hugely interesting for my character
4) I never got a really good explanation of the fluffy bunny

And yet I consider the event to have been awesome...

Night all

Why?

Where I work I sometimes get odd requests and complaints.

These sometimes make sense. A perverted kind of sense that has as much to do with common sense as a 700 pound dress made from clingfilm - but sense.

Today I've had a new one. A request for me to change the email system so that a user can't email Peter Dunn. Because we have two people named Peter Dunn and she keeps emailing the wrong one.

So she wants every email to go to "The right" Peter Dunn.

And she's sure that "the wrong" Peter won't mind "The Right" Peter forwarding on all his mail.

I'm not sure how to explain to her that the solution to the problem is for her to read who she's sending emails to...

Ideas?

Birthdays

I was thinking today about birthdays. (And no, this is not a gentle reminder about the near future)

What I was thinking about was how they've changed.

I remember, all those years ago, of bring so excited about getting a floppy disk of my own for the computer we had back then. One of my very own, to store files and things on.

I'm sitting here now and I can't think of anything that would generate as much excitement. Unless NASA is looking for astronauts.

Is a reflection of how much more I have then when I was 7?

Or have I lost that spark of "Oh WOW!" that turned a little square of plastic and magnetic film into awesomeness?

A bit of a critic

I'm only writing this because since I've remembered I've got to do it, I won't be able to sleep otherwise....

All I demand of a sequel is perfection. I know, that's a little harsh.

But take Underworld. Awesomely cool movie.

Underworld 2 - moved it to a different country and broke the plot in so many, many ways. Even the sex scene with Kate Beckinsale couldn't save it. (I'm not sure it would save the movie if she came to me, personally and took me out to dinner. No, really, it was that bad)

But I've just seen parts of Underworld 3.

And it makes the second film look good. How in the name of Hastur did a film this bad ever see the light of day??

--
Sleeptime, 10:55 -> 0700

Tyranny of choice

I've just got home, looked in the fridge for food and not found a Whole Meal.

So I'm going shopping. The only problem is that I can buy anything I like.

And I can' t think of a single thing I want.

Damn it.

--
Space left for sleep times
22:50 ->

Autumn II

I seem to remember a post a wrote, last year.

In it I mentioned that for me autumn happens three times a year.

Maybe I'm being gloomy, tired and sad. But I think this year it's come early.

I was dazzled by the golden light off fallen leaves, as I drove to work today. Even though autumn comes in the evening, this morning it was a chill that passed through my heart.

The summer has gone.

And the golden twilight has come.
--

Sleep, 10:18 after a hard written email. Tomorrow to send it.

Sleep on it, so they say...

And the alarm goes off at 730 - far to early.

Sleep

I'm always complaining I'm tired and grumpy.

But as any scientist would tell you - or a sleep psychologist - that's terrible data. The first step would be to collect proof.

So I am.

Every night I'll try and post what time I turn out the light...and what time I get up in the morning.

I'll attempt to put a (non-political) blog entry in as well, but that will be secondary.

I'm tired. And Grumpy.

And I'm going to bed...at 23:13.
Awake at 07:45

How do you solve a problem like...a law that works?

Now, here's a dilemma...in the UK we have the Criminal Records Bureau check, or the CRB. Now, this CRB is intended to catch those nasty people who want to work with children for very wrong reasons.

It does, after all, make a degree of sense to keep convicted sex offenders away from children - the easiest way to fail the CRB check is to be on the sex offenders register.

So far, so good,

But it turns out that Harriet Harman has found a group she believes is discriminated against by this. Have a look here...

The Government Equalities Office, which is overseen by Labour’s deputy leader, is promoting claims that devotees of skinny dipping and nudist campsites suffer prejudice equivalent to that experienced by gays, ethnic minorities and the elderly.

A submission written by British Naturism has been included in a review into discrimination. “Naturists encounter prejudice in employment,” it reads.

“This is a particular problem for people in the caring professions and education. Any occupation requiring an enhanced Criminal Record Bureau check is potentially a serious problem.”

So the problem really is differentiating between those who expose themselves to others...and those who expose themselves to others in some way that is (somewhat?) socially acceptable.

But the law is working exactly as intended.

By going the whole anti-discrimination route you cause a whole heap of problems. You can just imagine - court cases claiming that some poor unfortunate was discriminated against because s/he is a naturist. Completely impossible to prove of course...

Or there's always Plan B - change the CRB rules to allow you to appeal the result and defend certain charges, by pointing out that it was at a registered naturist site, for example...

But this is Harriet - why be sensible in the face of discrimination?

That's all folks

I'm feeling ill and grumpy. And people keep dying around me - so only a short post.

More a task, if you will. Office 2003 (and I'm assuming other versions) capitalise the word "halfing". Your task is to find other odd words it capitalises.

I've tried Ilithid, ogre, elf, dwarf....

Badly spent money

I'm a grouch, I admit this.

But have a look at this article here...

During the past 12 months, 40 councils have hired more than 140 experts, including healthy lifestyle tutors, wellbeing officers and community walks co-ordinators, at an annual cost to the taxpayer of almost £3m.

Public bodies hiring people for the public isn't a bad thing - if they're hired for the right reason...for the right role.

Now, to me (from the limited amount of data here) these job titles would appear to indicate non-jobs. All doing things that (to be honest) should not be done by the state.

Community walks co-ordinator? Who are you co-ordinating? How much co-ordination does it take to follow a map??

And the cost - 3 million, 140 people...tell you what I'd do. Fire the lot. Hire 140 youth workers.

What was that? You're shocked that I'd spend the money, not cut taxes?

Well, look at it like this. If each youth worker persuades or influences one teenager who's going off the rails. Just one... how much crime can one such young person cause and do?

A year in prison costs far, far more then the cost of hiring the youth worker for a year. Imagine... the youth worker helps 2 trouble makers to get a job, finish their education...

They pay for themselves, in the long term. I could argue they'd make us a long term, real world saving.

What's the pay back on a well-being officer?

Zombies!

Now I - like most sane people - have a zombie survival plan.

It's not that complicated and can be summed up quite simply. Go to the closest place with automatic weapons ans secure it.

Given there's only one such place in 20 miles, everyone who knows where I am can see the slight difficulty with that plan. Still, come the Zombie Apocalypse a rifle is the way to go.

Shoot them all with extreme prejudice.

But - surprising to say - people doing research agree.

Kill them all.

Character flaw?

Today, this morning I ran into a bit of Bad News.

Well, probably only bad news. The capitalisation is probably unnecessary. However, when I saw it my first thought was "That's inconvenient". Not "Oh my god" or anything along the lines.

That's inconvenient. Closely followed by an analysis of costs that probably deserved it's own spreadsheet.

All this with the emotional involvement of spilling milk. Actually - I'd have been more upset if I had spilt milk.

So the question....is this a flaw in my character?

Or should I just get out more?

Well, I won't be going to Alton Towers now....

And why wouldn't I go to Alton Towers, one of the biggest (and some would say best) of Sunny England's amusement parks?

And why would I suggest you don't go either?

I'm glad you asked...

It's this. Quoting the important bit, without the paragraphs of blather relating this to semi-famous people....

The company said today that a number of men had been sporting tight trunks in its waterpark during the recent hot weather.

It went on: “To prevent embarrassment among fellow members of the public and to maintain the family friendly atmosphere at the resort, bosses have taken the extreme measure of banning these tight trunks from their popular waterpark located within the Splash Landings Hotel.

“While women may hail the return of the skimpy bathers, the style itself is not deemed public or family friendly, and therefore we are requesting that male swimmers wear more appropriate styles such as boardshorts.

"The resort is also considering introducing mandatory bikini waxing for men, in a bid to prevent unsightly hair from being on display.”

I've got a few issues with this.

But to start the balls rolling, lets do some homework. Go to google and do an image search on the terms "bikini" and "speedos". Study the images for a few seconds...

...that's long enough...

The first issue is very simple. A very basic thing in the UK is that, by and large, you are free to wear what you wish. Your employer probably has a dress code, but in most places you can wear what you like.

In swimming pools and water parks (and basically anywhere you're likely to get really wet) people wear...well...nothing really. But being a liberal democracy we accept if you get embarrassed by the fact other people aren't sexless automatons we give you a right - the right not to look.

We don't even tell them to grow up.

I have great objections to modern fashion - but I would never *dream* of enforcing my fashion views on others in a "you must wear this" fashion. The most coercive I'll get is that I'll only buy clothes for people that I think they'll look good in.

Which seems fair enough to me.

But the idea of banning men from wearing swimming trunks is madness. Would you prevent women wearing bikinis that consist of more then string? How about we enforce minimum standards. Women should be fully veiled at all times and- nope, sorry, wrong misogynistic fundamentalist religion.

The very concept of "fashion police" strikes a chilling chord. Which leads me to my second point.

Within certain VERY limited exceptions within a civilised society pain is pretty much an optional experience.

Ok, ok, fine, we haven't found any really good ways around childbirth, period pain and some medical conditions. But these are broadly speaking biologically unavoidable - and as such outside the scope of this rant.

If you don't want body piercings you don't have to have them. Don't want to wax? Fine - don't. Giving blood is a trivial amount of pain which saves lives - but we don't even have to say no. Pain is entirely voluntary.

Inflicting pain on another has names. Assault, battery, rape, murder - I'm sure you can see the theme. Do so accidentally (say, a car crash) and your insurance company pays out large sums to compensate for pain and injury.

Or to look at it another way, it pays off the victim so they won't sue you.

But then we have... "The resort is also considering introducing mandatory bikini waxing for men".

Inflicting pain so others live up to your standards of beauty. Have they noticed that body hair is a secondary sexual charactoristic of HALF the population?

Causing pain on half the population because they don't live up to your standards.

Stalin wants a word - something about copyright...?

Your tone of text

When reading things others have written I hear the tone of voice. I don't have to know them or their voices. It's in the text.

Normally this isn't a problem - until you get to something really funny.

An email, addressed "Dear Sirs... (complaint) ... signed "Chloe Smith. (Mrs)."

Can you imagine how that sounded??

What is the government definition of solving a problem?

What is the government definition of solving a problem?

It's not actually fixing the cause of the issue, clearly.

Lets take the current employment crisis for graduates - that many big employers have cut graduate schemes drastically. There are currently (if reports are to believed) 49 or so graduates applying for every place.

Combine this with the fact that the government wants 50% of all students to go to university - the problem is clearly that we have more graduates then we can support.

Let's ignore the implication that if 50% of the population then some of the people studying will have an IQ of LESS then 100. I could write a whole post on the implications and insanity of that.

Anyway, back to the point- we have a surplus of graduates this year. So what's the government going to do?

Why, obviously what the government needs to do is to pay for 500 odd graduates to go on a gap year - so next year, when they get back we'll have all the graduates that have just graduated and five hundred more from the year before.

Just putting the problem off.

Government problem solving.

Muppets.

(Edit to add)
The 49 figure was there, I'd swear, when I wrote this over lunchtime. That's what you get for not print-screening the page. Sorry.)

Why some people should be kept...quiet...

Some times you don't have to parody. You don't have to make jokes.

You only have to point at what they say and laugh.

Well, Harriet Harmon is at it again. This time she shows her true colours. In the midst of economic crisis, unemployment and fiscal chaos it's clear what her priorities are.

Not the country - when her party is in power.
Not the economy - when she's the deputy leader of the party in charge of repairing this.
Not the labour party - when she must have known how badly these comments would be received.

But with her minority group of interest - women.

She makes her point very clear. She doesn't trust men in power. To quote...
“I don’t agree with all-male leaderships,” she said. “Men cannot be left to run things on their own. I think it’s a thoroughly bad thing to have a men-only leadership.”

So nice to know that the Minister for Equality has such a high view of half the population she represents. Men can't be left to run things.

So what does she want? A quota system, so mummy can keep an eye on the naughty boys.

You do not - and never can - achieve equality through quotas and requirements. You can only ever reach it through merit. Choosing the best candidates, the best skilled and those with vision.

She's forgotten this because she was never the best, the most skilled or gifted with vision. Instead, she's become obsessed with her view of reality - and forgotten something important.

When you become obsessed with the enemy you become the enemy.

(Even if there isn't one)
(Kudos to the first to identify the quote)

A good thing

I'm always told that I'm being negative about things I don't like.

This is true.

So I'm going say something positive about the worst thing I can think of. No, that's not the Labour party. Or the weather.

Nope - I'm talking Windows Vista. Now, all of you who have spoken to me about Microsoft and Windows know my views. But I'm going to say something nice about it.

Vista allows you to install without a code, for 30 days.

This means you can set it up, realise how abysmal it is and uninstall it without spending a penny.

I am being positive. Really!!

All good things

I should right now be packing for Maelstrom.

Really, I should.

But instead I've been distracted by All Good Things.

That is, the very last episode of Star trek, next generation. Arguably the last good episode ever flmed. That I've only ever seen once.

The sheer intelligence of the episode - the first time you see it, unprepared and unwarned. The first, last and only truly epic time travel episode.

Picard - Now tell me one thing: this anomaly we're looking for - will that destroy humanity?
Q - You're forgetting, Jean-Luc - you destroy humanity.

Being tired

I'm tired.

Really, really tired. Maybe even a little ill. Probably not anything interesting.

Because I've got Maelstrom at the weekend. There is no peace in the war - and I need to be there. I have things to do. There are demons to kill.

And a small child that needs to be laid to rest. After a party. With cake.

But I don't even have the energy to write a review of My New Toy. I'm going to bed in a minute - and I dread the morning sun.

Because I'll only want to sleep again.

This whole sperm thing

If you pay any attention to the news - at all - in the last couple of days you've probably heard the news that some scientists have managed to create sperm using stem cells. Significantly, they can do this from a woman's stem cells.

As you can predict there's been things like this - a list of 101 uses for a man and the like. It's dotted around the media...all over the place.

And I'm getting rather sick of it.

Because it's even more short sighted then cutting off your feet - because you've got a remote control.

There's a couple of reasons this isn't going to go anywhere.

1) Check the person who made this possible - a man. In all of human history a large proportion of new technology has been created and designed by men.

Women have made huge contributions - but if you want complete obsession over 20 years of dedication, without distractions of children, real life or even noticing an oncoming train...

Or - to put it another way - women tend to lead rounder lives, with things like a work-life balance. Men do not.

2) Economics - right now the cost for the majority of couples who want children the cost to create them is negative. That is - they pay less to conceive them, because they are not using (some form of) contraception.

Imagine if the cost was somewhat similar to a medical procedure - but I'm not going to pick one. Look around on the internet - they are Expensive. But as a opening number, lets say £2000. Average UK wage is about 25% (according to the ONS, anyway) - so 1/3 in tax (wishful thinking, I know..) leaves us with about 16K. So that's 6 weeks income straight.

And what do you do in our perfect female society when a boy is conceived? Abort them all? Separate out all the male sperm? (Good luck with that)

So we're talking a large cost that could be avoided, with additional moral dilemma and heartache for added fun.

3) And the real reason this won't happen any time soon - not economics, not science..

Most women rather like men. Most men rather like women. No matter how much they might complain about each other...however many painful heartbreaks they have they still want the other.

So this scientific miracle will be left as a oddity that might help a few childless couples, perhaps a few children might be born to pairs of women.

But society as a whole will not spend a huge amount of money on a solution that would exclude the low paid, leaving half the population rather upset and the other half unsatisfied.

If any country did try it people would just leave for another that didn't. And before you say "what if we all did it" - imagine trying to sustain this technology in somewhere like Africa. It's hard enough to live there as it is.

So could the mainstream media please stop going on about a fantasy world that will never exist and get back to reporting the real news.

like this

I'm going slightly mad

Just to let everyone know I Have Returned.

Like Return of the Jedi, but less lightsabers and more unpacking. I've only been awake for the last 30 or so hours, so I'm rather tired.

I don't have any net at home now - although I've put an order in - so for the moment I'm sponging off the parents, while they cook me dinner.

This works all round, as far as I can tell...

Fatality

The laptop has suffered a possibly Final Death.

Posting might be a tad....delayed....

I'm still here...

Blog posts will be light while I'm away.

More stories to tell when I get back. Although I might find a rant for you later...

Election Predictions

I'm sticking my neck out and giving some election predictions for the local elections tomorrow.

Since I'm not entirely sure what councils are voting, I'll give fractions.

Labour will loose about half their councilors, which will go in a 3/1 splt to conservatives/lib dems.

Other parties will gain a small number, with regional parties doing well. BNP will probably gain a couple of seats - but a whole council. And probably very localised.

Conservatives to gain ~20 councils. Mostly from NOCs, with labour loosing about half of theirs to NOC.

Those are my predictions - just because it's no fun saying "I was right" without sticking my neck out.

European elections...not sure yet. But very bad for labour.

They must be joking

It always amazes me the things they say on the BBC. Take for example, this article...

The offensive quotes:

Around seven million people in the UK are involved in illegal downloads, costing the economy tens of billions of pounds, government advisers say.

Researchers found 1.3m people using one file-sharing network on one weekday and estimated that over a year they had free access to material worth £12bn.

What's so bad about this? Well, lots.

But lets look at the Really Big Number They estimate that these downloaders can access 12 Billion pounds worth of stuff. That's a LOT of stuff. No, really.

If we said that an hours TV was worth £1 per hour - and given that the average season of a TV show on amazon is less then £25 for anything that isn't the Last Season Gone this is a fair assumption. Lets say we've had 200 TV stations broadcasting new material for the last 60 years, 24/7, saved it and that it's all available on line, thats...um....60*365*24*200=105.12 million hours of TV.

Or about 1% of the 12 billion total.

Lets assume that there are 1000 films made every year for the last 60 years, at about £10 per film. Given they seem to be selling most for less then £6 of late... thats 1000*60*10 = 0.6 million - not enough to even worth putting into a percentage of 12 billion.

Music - lets call it 10,000 tracks a year...no...100,000 tracks a year, for 60 years, at £1 a track - aka typical ITunes prices - that's 6 million.

Books...for sake of argument, say that 4 times the number of books in project guttenburg covers the period to 1900 (so about 100,000), and since then 1 million a year for 110 years, at £5 per book. Thats (100,000 + 1,000,000*110) * 5 = 0.5505 billion pounds worth.

So with a bunch of assumptions so large I could fly the Starship Enterprise through them I can just, almost, make 1 Billion Pounds of media. Well, maybe 0.7 billion.

Assumptions like:

*All this material is available
*300 music tracks are made a day
*3000 books are written a day
*All TV content is only shown once, ever
*All TV content is worth £1 - including commercials, 24 hour news, blue peter

I'm not sure there's enough media on the planet to actualy come to £12,000,000,000 total.

Apologies...probably not happening any time soon.

Almost every time someone - let's be honest, some man - in the office takes a few days off due to a cold or flu like bug the same things are always said.

"It's only man flu" is the start and the comments proceed downhill from there. You very rarely hear the reverse, men commenting on the time off women have. It just doesn't happen.

But I saw this article on the BBC the other day.

In brief:

Men really do have an excuse for supposedly being wimpy about coughs and colds - their immune systems are not as strong as women's, research suggests.

A Canadian study indicates that the female sex hormone oestrogen gives women's immune systems added bite

And while I would quibble with the word "wimpy" in this context (if you're actualy suffering more how is that wimpy? If you were suffering less and complaining more, that's wimpy.) what it says is clear - all else being equal, a man will suffer more while suffering from the same infection.

Well, till the next study comes out saying the reverse. But for the moment, we have clear evidence that "man flu" is no laughing matter.

Think we'll get an appology gentlemen?

I doubt it...

Have on going net problems

Rather like the ones here

I am not happy with Demon.

Not one bit.

I'm going to work shortly, but...

Ah hoy, pirates!

After loosing the court case, the pirate bay have found a new type of web attack.

Denial of Dollars - Do$. Much more painful then a Denial of Service - a typical techie attack. Quote from their site, here:

Pirate Bay Founder Devises DDo$ Attack

Pirate Bay founder Gottfrid Svartholm (aka anakata) recieved a bill for the 30 million SEK that he, along with Peter Sunde (aka brokep), Fredrik Neij (aka TiAMO), and Carl Lundstrom, was fined in the verdict of the Pirate Bay trial just over three weeks ago. The bill inspired anakata to devise a plan involving sending money to Danowsky’s law firm, but not to pay the fine of course which they say will never be payed. Anakata’s clever plan is called internet-avgift, internet-fee in English. Anakata encourages all Internet users to pay extremely small sums around 1 SEK (0.13 USD) to Danowsky’s law firm, which represented the music companies at the Pirate Bay trial. The music companies will not benefit from this, instead it will cost them money to handle and process all the money.

The plan can be called a Distributed Denial of Dollars attack (DDo$). The plan is an away-from-keyboard DDoS attack. DDoS attacks involve lots of users overloading the victim with internet traffic damaging their ability to provide services. Money, instead of Internet traffic is used in this case. The victim is Danowsky’s law firm which represented the IFPI at the Pirate Bay trial.

A friend of anakata told Blog Pirate that the bank account to which the payments are directed has only 1000 free transfers, after which any transfers have a surcharge of 2 SEK for the account holder. Any internet-fee payments made after the first 1000, which includes the law firm’s ordinary transfers, will instead of giving 1 SEK, cost 1 SEK to the law firm. Since Danowsky & Partners Advokatbyrå is a small firm, all the transactions are handled by hand. Handling all payments will be time consuming, costing the law firm in productivity. Maybe it will even affect their success in other cases.

Make direct payments to
Danowsky & Partners Advokatbyrå KB. Plusgiro 79 31 21-5.

Additionally if after paying the internet-fee you determine that your payment was erroneous, Swedish law states that you can request the money back, putting an additional load on Danowsky’s law firm.

I think this is absolutely genius.

But...well...asking for a refund.

That's just class.

State of mind

There are some people who really shouldn't be allowed out without a minder. (No, I'm not one of them.) Here's an example, here...

Quick summery of Prof Julian Le Grand's position, quoted from the article...

Without having to undergo a public ceremony or take any vows, they should simply be regarded as married in law as soon as the child's birth is registered, Prof Le Grand, Tony Blair's former Downing Street health adviser, said.

Those who later decide to separate would have to go to court to seek a divorce in exactly the same way as a couple who had married formally in church or a register office.

The London School of Economics professor, who is also chairman of Health England, argued that the idea would make family units more secure...

"There would be a benefit to the child as it would make separation that much more difficult," he said.

"There would also be benefits for the woman, particularly, who would acquire rights that many cohabitees think that they have already but actually they don't.

"There are no such things as common law wives although people think that there are."

Now - as yu can probably see by now - there's rather a lot I could attack here. But I'm not going to, because people tend to complain. (Anti-women, etc)

And there's a better attack I can make.

It goes like this. There is a fundermental difference between married couples with children and unmarried couples, tempory couples and short term pairs (such as one night stands).

That difference is the state of mind. Both have committed to each other and any resulting children. They've commited to this before witnesses, the state and the law - and quite possibly the church, their families and friends.

They have a host of reasons to work through any issues. Marriage is a state of mind - a long term view.

The state simply declaring that a couple are husband and wife changes nothing but a tick box on a form. You can't create good parents - or a good family life - with tick boxes.

This proposel wouldn't work. I don't know what affect this will have on society - although I can think of a few. What I promise you is that it will fail.

And you won't like the side affects.

Star wars day

Blogging is light, because I've been busy moving boxes.

However, May the 4th be with you.

Shopping

I'm not much of a shopper, but at the weekend I went looking for two items for an upcoming LARP event.

A black, polo-neck shirt (one of those things you can roll up to hide half your neck) and some form of black cosmetic (probably lipstick) to go with the rest of the black makeup I'll be wearing.

Because there's nothing worse then getting all dressed up...just for your first cup of tea to dissolve the makeup covering your lips.

It just looks wrong.

So there I was, looking for the shirt.

In the entire town center shopping district, serving a population of about 100,000 people I found...not one.

Not even anything close. There are two possible reasons that I couldn't find one. I suspect it's a combination of things, to be honest, but...

The first is floor space. Broadly speaking there are three types of clothing shops. Those that exist solely for women - casual, smart, shoes - whatever. There are those that sell suits for men. And there are mixed stores that have a varying ratio of stick.

Most clothes stores fit the first category. The second category was useless to me, as I didn't want a suit - and the type of shirt I want was far, far to casual to buy there.

Which left the third type.

Now, here the amount of space varied depending on the store. The best store found was "Marks and Spencer". Here they had most of upstairs as a mens section - although I'm unsure of the logic of putting lingerie right next door to the men's shoes. But that's a side issue.

More to the point, they had a decent selection of clothes, helpful staff and even though they couldn't help me - they tried.

The far side of the spectrum was another department store. Here what few clothes they had for men were sandwiched between luggage and the garden section - just enough space to swing a cat.

They had more space put aside for handbags then they did for half the human race. They had twice as much space dedicated to women's underwear. They had three times the space dedicated to cosmetics.

The staff didn't even care enough to look interested in a potential customer - I've seen more life in a LARP corpse.

In the end, I failed completely to find what I was looking for.

Either due to the complete lack of floorspace dedicated - or the for the second reason.

Polo-neck shirts are a strictly winter item.

And it's sunny.

Why you shouldn't fear terrorists

You shouldn't fear terrorists because - essentially - they're muppets.

If a terrorist group wanted to cause some real damage they wouldn't be bombing places. Nope - it's a pointless exercise, because you can never do enough damage.

Number of bombings in the last 10 years in the UK that actually inflicted damage? Ditto, the USA, Canada?

No. An intelligent terrorist group would right now fly to Mexico and find some people infected with this.

Infect the dedicated in, say, London - wouldn't need to be many, maybe 10 - and have them go to the cinema. The theatres, football and a school play.

That would cripple the country - much more so then taking out a tube station or three.

Don't attack property. Inflict real fear.

(What can I say? I have high quality nightmares sometimes)

"Safety" proposals

Once again our glorious leaders in Westminster have put forwards proposals to protect us from ourselves. Details, here.

What was that? I don't sound impressed?

You'd be right. Lets look at a few...

Police would no longer need to suspect that an offence has been committed in order to stop and breath-test a driver. Breath specimens taken at the roadside would become admissible as primary evidence in court, removing the need to carry out additional tests at a police station. Drivers would lose the right to demand a blood test.

This sounds like a good thing, right? No more driving while intoxicated? Well....no.

What a roadside breathalyzer is the truly tiny amount of alcohol present in the air you breath out. This alcohol seeps out of your blood in the lungs to the air in them at a very slow rate. We're talking small quantities here people.

Silly things like using mouthwash, hyperventilating, being diabetic, having dentures or simply Being Odd all screw up the numbers involved. Which is why it's not actually illegal to have a high level of alcohol in your breath.

It IS enough to bring you in to a station and take a blood test - actual proof you've broken the law.

So what we have here is the possibility of being pulled over and being convicted of driving under the influence based on an estimate that's unreliable and is supposed to be used as an indicator only.

Oh, and you've lost the right to demand a test that would clear you.

Or lets look at another part.

Offences such as failing to signal or passing too close to a cyclist, which currently would draw a verbal warning, could result in a £60 fine and three penalty points.

Failing to signal. That's a sin, I'd agree.

But to put points on peoples licenses for failing to signal - that's a little harsh. Let's be honest - it's madness.

Signal that you're turning left at a roundabout - where you are turning? That could be a an offense - if you don't know that there's another tiny road. Get to a round about and don't know if it's the first or second turning or say, five? That's an offense.

There's a whole list of situations where signaling - or not - could be misleading, unsafe and downright dangerous.

Right now, a policeman could tell me off - and if it was dangerous driving there is an offense to cover this. An automatic fine and points? Bad idea...

I could go on, but I'm running out of lunch.

Things that intrigue

What does it take to get your attention?

I'm tired. So tired that I've got a hot mug of milk at my elbow and I'm going to bed in just a minute. After posting this, most likely.

But as usual for a Monday I listened to "Old Harry's Game" - a show based in hell. But that's a side issue. On the radio clip, before it starts there's some quirky music that sounds really out of place.

So odd and out of place, I might even listen. If I wasn't falling asleep already.

--

Side issue: I'd love to say that because I'd rather go to bed early and sleep it clearly proves I'm not a WoW addict. Because I can't.

The net here is still screwed and about as usable as a waterproof teabag.

Not much

There's not much I ask for a sunday evening.

Food, a net connection and a fun raid on warcraft.

It's really easy.

But after the net company (Demon) is supposed to have given me an UPGRADE I've got a connection somewhat more flakey then a flake 99, dropping me at intervals of 30 seconds to 3 minutes.

Even things like MSN refuse to log on. They can't even establish a sodding conection.


Arrrrrrggghhhhh!

Again??

What is it with weekends and my net connection - once more, I've seem faster corpses.

I can't even sustain a connection long enough to run a speed test.

Grrrr.

You grumpy lot!

Updates have been delayed by such petty things as food, sleep and me being lazy. All perfectly valid excuses.

About the weekend - it was fun. Immense fun.

We went from fear of attack to imminent attack. We hoped and stood ready.

We planned and talked. We dragged Justice down and blinded him. We did more damage to Justice then I believed could be done to a closet immortal.

We rampaged through Havockstan with a simple cry.

No peace in the war!

--
Am I going back?

Oh yes.

Normal Service Part 2

I will do a real post tomorrow.

But over the weekend I did 148.7 miles.
I used 9.61 liters of fuel.

That's 70.34 miles to the gallon. In bank holiday traffic, both ways.

I'm actualy rather proud of this.

Normal Service

Normal service will resume shortly after my weekend away. Details will be forthcoming.

However - it has to be said.

No peace in the war!

What a way to ruin a day

In my time I've seen a lot of computer errors.

Dead hard drives. That smell of burning plastic. I've even seen sparks flying.

There are two things I fear the most. The hard drive that departs this world for the next carrying 100gb of my data with it. For this can cause unheralded misery - can I get my photos back? When did I back it up last?

The other is a completely different form of panic.

You've arranged to meet someone online. You've got a raid planned. An email to write. Something that must be done, NOW, online. And it fails.

You run though all the usual fixes, trying to breath life into the shattered web. Renew the IPs. Check the cabling. Reboot this. Tweak that.

And all you get is this...



Meet my sunday.

Head and shoulders

I was shopping on Saturday and was forced to my more shampoo.

Mainly because I use it on occasion - and we all seem to have a different one. And it's empty.

So there I am, pottering about the shampoo, hair dye and conditioner bit of the supermarket. Almost an isle full - and I can't find what I'm after.

I can't find it because the brand isn't there. It's head and shoulders - everywhere sells it.

Nor is it concealed among others. It's right there in front of me.

I can't find what I want because of the choice. There's a few choices.

-Mint
-Conditioning
-Dry hair
-Ocean lift(?)
-Smooth and silky
-Coloured
-Extra volume
-Citrus
-"Classic"
-For men
-Refresh
-Sensitive

I'm quite sure I missed some. Now, what do I buy?

Conditioner? (Does it matter?)
Mint? (Smells nice at least)
Colour? (I don't dye my hair - that's easy, no)
Extra volume (Good god no, my hairs bad enough as it is)
Sensitive? (Umm.....probably not)
Dry? (Only if it's for my sense of humour)
For men? (Hold it, are ALL the rest of the brands for women??)

I settled for conditioner. But only because it was on offer.

So - does it actually matter? At all?!?
---
Edit to add:

And they've changed the shape of the bottle. So if you're essentially blind in the shower (like me) I now have to go looking for it - rather then just know what it looks like. Blue blob on white.

A new face

One of the lovely things about blogging and the internet is that you might find something completely Different. You look for one thing and find the reverse.

Searching for certain childrens cartoon characters - you exoect Disney and get - well, I can't possibly mention in polite company.

On WoW addiction, you find lots - broken lives, dirges and songs of sadness. But that's not all you can find. You can also find something like this tale of hope.

A few quotes...

"At family meals, I had no idea what they were talking about; I didn’t even understand the language they used. We had grown apart and the gap was widening."

"The solution was thought up by my younger son, who hit upon the idea of getting me, his mother, to play WOW. I was reluctant to say the least; I simply didn’t see the attraction, it was an alien world, I didn’t ‘do’ gaming."

"After 3 months of playing, my older son was married..... Several of the wedding guests introduced themselves by their online character names in the receiving line (bizarre).... They were sworn to secrecy in case the bride's mother found out, she might not have understood..."

I could go on and selectively quote the whole thing - but it deserves much better then that. Go on over and read it. It's her first blog post and everything - so give her some support.

She's made the first step into the wider world.

The next step...the hardest step....the second post...

This test awaits her.

Polite-off

This post is about warcraft - but it's mostly about that strange species - The English.

Imagine, if you will, 11 people gathered for a weekend activity. All with shared interests, most on at least nodding terms. Even three couples - some married!

But into this garden of joy slithers the snake of circumstance - only 10 can play. And it's three hours or more a go.

In some cultures people would argue for their right to go, based on need, merit, superiority or just being on time.

Not so here...

Of the 11 players, 4 apologised for being unable to give way. They all had essential roles. Be this tank, healer or the only disenchanter - all had to go, for the good of the raid. They were essential.

Of the remaining 7, 6 offered to give up their place. Some stated they had been late. Others claimed to have not eaten yet and that playing with a keyboard and fork was a bad idea for all. Another said she had other things that needed to be done.

All the players bar one were perfectly willing to sit out, to be polite and put their interests aside. A polite off - like a stand off, but much more English.

"After you."
"No, after you."
"Please - you first."
"No, I wouldn't dream of it."

But what of the 11th person you ask. Was he brash, bold and insisting he should go?

Nope - he wasn't at his keyboard - and apologised later.
--

Edit to add:

It's been pointed out to me that the cause of this whole episode was me changing plans and turning up that night. Where as previously I was scheduled to be elsewhere...

So I should stress that ultimately they were all willing to give up that nights run for Me - someone that only 2 of them have ever met in person.

You've got to go a long way to find a bunch of people that friendly.

You probably missed this one

One of the (many) problems with only watching news broadcasts by the like of the BBC, Channel 4, Sky and the like is that sometimes they miss things.

One thing they've missed is this speech - it's an attack on Gorden Brown by a Member of the European Parliament. And it's great.

There's a lot you can't do in the Commons. It's ruled by convention - you can't attack someone directly - you have to go through the Speaker. You can't just attack the prime minister at Prime Minister's Questions - you have to phrase it around a question. A short-ish one at that.

And in the Commons the victim of your attack gets to reply - well, pretend to reply. As is far to often the case it is a "duck and weave", anything but answer the question actually asked and admit you might have got something wrong.

I'd respect Gorden Brown a little if he actually answered. Well, a little.

But it's rare - so very rare - that someone stands up to say exactly what they want - representing the views of their constituents - and sits back down again.

So sit back and enjoy this one....

A stapler.

How many IT people does it take to fix a stapler?

Not a question asked on a daily basis, but an important one that was addressed today.

The answer was both enlightening and disturbing in equal measures.

It took three to determine that the correct action was to replace it. That the little bit of metal that came spinning out of it couldn’t be put back in. So yes – there is sanity in IT. It takes three, but it can be found.

It also takes three to take that slither of metal and absolutely destroy the stapler and the metal shard in attempts to repair it using whatever tools came to hand.

Screwdrivers. The desk. Anything in reach.

And we trust these people with servers costing thousands.

*Gulp*

Why I rant...

I've been asked why I don't get on with, and why I occasionally rant about women and feminists.

The answer is - purely - they usually deserve it. I find what they say infuriating, along with the refusal to debate and the personal attacks they make to be hugely aggravating.

Disagree and you become a misogynist - and things go downhill from there.

But why do they deserve it? They say things like this...

Women have contributed more to the expansion of the world economy than either new technology or the emerging markets of China and India

This just takes my breath away. More to the economy then technological improvement.

So women have contributed more then the economic value of agriculture? Or the ability to make fire?

Both of those are "new technologies" - without which we'd still be stuck in caves. True, I'm being a little silly there. Let's stick to new technologies within her lifetime.

How about advances in computing and electronics in the last 54 years - since she was born. I've got more computing power in my desktop then existed in the world for about half that time.

Put together.

That is part of what I find infuriating - they say silly things like that and expect you to accept it.
--

(I'm not going to go into the question of "Why didn't she directly compare the economic growth of men and women? Why cherry pick this part of the market....or that part of the market...not a useful overall comparison?)

Decisions

I'm terrible at making decisions.

You lot know this. So I'm looking at a choice - no bonus points for guessing what it is.

I've looked into the options - attempting my usual method of problem solving. That is - understand the problem. Eliminate the impossible and the downright silly.

Once you've done this there's rarely more than an option left. Or, if there are several options there's usually one clear and certain optimal solution.

I'll be damned if I can see it.

How to tell you are getting old

You have a quiet weekend coming - last weekend, for argument's sake.

Instead of a wild party, with dancing girls, loud music and far to much alcohol - aka, a lot of fun - instead you choose to go shopping.

You buy some decent cheese, the bits needed for a nice Caesar salad, some good bread....and a cadburys cream egg. All to eat in the garden, to the sound of the wind....

What kind of sane person would rather have a decent lunch in sunshine over a party?

An old(er) one.

Why I can't stand Harriet Harman

Meet Harriet. She's a labour party member, politician - and that's as far as I can go in my description. After this I start using offensive names.

Why do I dislike her so much? Well, she is...


-Minister for women
-Minister for women and Equality
-Deputy leader of the labour party
-Party chair of the labour party
-Leader of the House of Commons

Yes, you read that right - she's twice the minister for women. I could say about the logical insanity of a "Minister for (subgroup) and Everyone else" but I'm not going to. I'll be good and not say "Why isn't there a minister for men".

Today I want to look at what she said.

In the Times, on Jan 25:

Harriet Harman, the women’s minister, said: “There is a major fear about women being targeted by their employers during the downturn. This is unlawful.” Another senior minister said women could be set back for “a generation”.

The latest official employment statistics show that the number of women in full-time work fell by 53,000 in the last quarter, compared with a fall of 36,000 for men. It means women are losing full-time jobs at twice the rate of men, because men significantly outnumber women in the workplace.

That seems fair enough. Except that in the Telegraph on the 7th of March

The Office for National Statistics published new data showing that fewer female workers were sacked at the end of last year than male staff, most likely because more of them have jobs in the public sector.

Its figures come just two days after the Government launched a new campaign specifically to help women cope with the effects of the downturn, along with a survey claiming that they are more worried about the economy than men.

Harriet Harman, the Women's Minister, said: "We cannot and will not allow women to become the victims of this recession."

And this is why I reserve a special place in my heart for Harriet - with the whips, chains and nails.

Because she doesn't care about anyone but her Chosen Group.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but we're in a bit of a recession. People are loosing jobs. Companies are folding.

But her chosen group must be protected from harm. Except that it turns out they're relatively unaffected. But has Harperson apologised? Has she announced that if companies fire proportionately more men will suffer legal action? An apology?

Of course not. Because Harriet doesn't care.

What was that? Legal action? Here, have a look, from the times, same article...

The government is to work with the EHRC to monitor businesses for evidence of discrimination over redundancies. Companies found to have unjustifiable discrepancies between male and female redundancy rates are being warned they face court.

Yep, us evil men have to be watched, monitored and sued if we fire more women. So not only does she not care about men - she believes we would deliberately act against women - as a group - given the chance.

It's got to the point where the moment she opens her mouth I disbelieve her. A new bill for equality? Look hard for a moment and you find it allows positive discrimination.

It wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't constantly on the news right now. But every time I see her the rage slowly grows...

Is a little fairness to much to ask for?

Or failing that, how about a week of peace?

Thoughts invited

Well, you all know know how I am with decisions - terrible.

So, here's a situation for you all to comment on...

I've been offered the rent of a place, for a sane (or better then sane) price. It's more then I'm paying the parents rent wise - even more when you add little things like bills.

However, it's within the limits of available finances.

Now, the question is what do I do? What should I consider?

Sometimes I'm afraid to look...

We've all been there at some point.

You go to a web page, seeing and/or reading some that that you just wish you hadn't. Some graphic detail of someones life. Some quirk or twist.

You want to stop reading but you can't quite bring yourself to. It's the terrible fascinating that draws you along like a prisoner dragged to the executioners axe.

And then there are the pages that you see sometimes. Like this one....

(Open the picture if you can't read it as is)

I'm tempted to read the article. Find out what's so interesting that it's got to the top of The Times news website. Understand why it's the most read story today.

But will it turn into one of those "I really, really didn't need to know that" pages.

Problem is, I can hear the headman. He's sharpening his axe...

Grrr

Another thing on my list.

Politics is the art of persuading people that you are the best (or least bad) person for the job.

So I find this sort of thing infuriating.

First paragraph or four...

Hain voices fear over BNP victory

A former minister has warned that the UK's main parties are "complacent" about the British National Party, after the BNP won a local election.

Labour MP Peter Hain told the BBC that Labour's own supporters were being targeted by the far-right.

He said the government needed to make sure local, rather than foreign, workers were prioritised for jobs.

A BNP leader said the recession had helped the party win because potential supporters were being hit hardest.

Mr Hain was speaking after the BNP won a seat at a by-election for Sevenoaks Council in Kent.

Why does this annoy? Well, I'm not a huge fan of the BNP. They are a tad...extreme for my taste.

But if it's really such a problem why don't the politicians - the professional persuaders - get off their fat, lazy, government funded arses and actually campaign against them?

Address local issues. Talk to people. Perhaps fix the huge mess they've made of pensions, the economy and this little thing you might have heard of - a credit crunch?

Not complain when they win.

Winning not because of some tax give away. Nor bribes and lies.

But promising to try and do something about what people care about. What politicians are supposed to do.

Grumpy

There are many things that make me grumpy.

No, really - there's a long list. A really, REALLY long list.

And on that list is something that's inherent in society at large. It's called advertising.

Lets suppose we have two products, A and B. They are for all practical purposes identical. So to get you to buy B, not A they advertise. Be this TV adds, product placements or just great big posters dotted around the place.

This irritates me because if A and B were different then it wouldn't be needed. Imagine, if A was better for one purpose, and B for another. If you had to do something you would simply buy the better product for your task. Advertising would be pointless.

There are two reasons to advertise - your product is not clearly better then the opposition....or no one knows what you make.

It's one thing to tell the world "I exist". Its another to try and worm your way into peoples minds. To make them think "I prefer that one" simply because you've burnt more money on air time.

What brought sudden hatred on tonight?

Because I've just been subjected to a barrage of (really, really pretty) women on TV telling me that I need product xxx to leave my hair so much softer and shinier. That I need lotion yyy to leave my skin soft and wrinkle free. That for the perfect kissable lips I need zzz lipstick available in 4 billion colours.

But it wasn't the products that drove my mind to rage against the lies.

Or that this was in the middle of my sodding sci-fi show, on a channel aimed virtually exclusively at men who don't have to share the remote with someone who might actually want any of these products.

Nope - the truly offensive thing was that I could only spot this because I wasn't interested in the products.

If I was interested - if they were selling...perhaps....Masters of Orion 3, could I have been objective?

Or would they have slipped past my inner cynicism and persuaded me that maybe it's worth a try....

Not selling things because they work, but because they are well presented as being better then rivals by people calculated to distract you, leaving you vulnerable to the deceit.

As I said, it makes me grumpy.

That said, falling asleep and missing the ending really didn't help!

Graphics cards

Because people keep asking me to comment about them, here's a post to answer a few questions.

Firstly, a discrete graphics card is always preferable to anything else. Why? Because there's no performance advantage to being on the motherboard - except that the board manufacturer might be diverting system memory for it.

Either way, don't touch. The only possible justification is in the production of a really low energy system. But I'm assuming you want to play - at the least - warcraft.

Now, which is better - ATI, Nvidia, intel, your maiden aunt...

That's a different topic. You pays your money, you take your choice. However, if you look closely you will find charts like this.

It's not a perfect comparison. It doesn't tell the whole story - the effects of different shader versions, the true impact of mulitple processors, the joy of DDR5 or the like.

But it does give order of magnitude figures. So looking at texture fill rates - read, the amount it can paint on the screen - the cards you mentioned:

6500 GT - Call it the same as a 6600 LE - 1.2 billion/sec
7100 - That's 1.4 billion/sec

Might as well go for a old, creaking 6800 - at 3.9 billion it smokes the pair, put together.

And that's not even the GT version at 5.6 billion.

So my advice? If you're building a new PC and you want to play games...of any sort past solitare...spend a little money now. Call it £60 on a card you won't have to replace in three weeks.

Say, well, this. Not really a game card, but not complete junk.

Please note - that's not a recomendation. I wouldn't suggest anything less then an x600 for gaming. Anything less (ie, 9500, 8500) isn't designed for games. So start at 8600...

Early Christmas/Birthday warning

There are people who find me impossible to buy for. As such, they like me to suggest lists of things that they could pick from.

The catch with this approach is that (from my point of view) it's a little predictable. If you know what went on the list...then....well...

This approach remains problematic - if you ask me "what do you want" then my mind goes blank, memories of desire flee leaving a rather short list of things as a grope around for something suitable.

It's not a pretty sight.

So I'm going to lend a hand. When I think of something, I'll tell you about it. For two reasons - one, I'd like it. And two - because anything I like must be good, and worth sharing with others.

Today's choice is "V for Vendetta". It's a decent film, with some strong scripting and a cheerful ending. No, really - it ends with a bang. What's more, the original comic book is available in paperback.

Like most things, the box is longer, better and deeper.

And available for less then the DVD.

Go amazon!
--
Edit to add:

There will be more things. Don't all buy me V. Talk to each other!

A white marker

At work, if we need stationary we speak to the receptionists who have a stock - or they can order things.

So there I was, after a new pen. All I wanted was a white permanent marker - nothing that special, right...?

Turns out I was the first person - ever - in our organisation or the those we serve - to order such a thing.

It required 2 specialist purchasing people. A justification of why I wanted it (I need to write on black things). A reason why I didn't want to stick a label on the thing and then write on the label in black.

Finaly it went to a manager.

And now they've ordered a box. Of a dozen.

And this will help....how?

Now, by this point I believe every reader here will know I have little time for the govenments IT policy here.

Bluntly, I believe that a legion of winged monkeys could do a better job.

Here's another example.

The first couple of paragraphs for those reading in interesting places:

The government is compiling a database to track and store the international travel records of millions of Britons.

Computerised records of all 250 million journeys made by individuals in and out of the UK each year will be kept for up to 10 years.

The government says the database is essential in the fight against crime, illegal immigration and terrorism.

But opposition MPs and privacy campaigners fear it is a significant step towards a surveillance society.

The intelligence centre will store names, addresses, telephone numbers, seat reservations, travel itineraries and credit card details of travellers.

And what could be wrong with that? Well, let's see...

First, we've got the massive invasion of privacy issues. Why should the government know where I go on holiday? More to the point, what good will it do them? Of these 250-million records how many will actually be terrorists or criminals?

On the other hand, if the plan was to run the name of every traveler against a list of known wanted people and then destroyed - I'd be happier. But that's not what they want to do. They want to know everywhere I've been in the last 10 years.

Then there's the usefulness of the information. Let's suppose...we're looking for a terrorist we know trained in a terrorist training camp in Canada. How useful is that information? None at all. Every year millions of trips will be from or to Canada.

The sheer volume of junk information makes this sort of exercise damn near useless. Even then, what if they traveled to Canada (ok, Palestine is more likely) via some harmless third party? Or even the 4th, 5th or 17th harmless country? Or booked a cruise and spent 6 months traveling around the world to get there?

So not only should the government not be collecting this, once they do it'll be useless.

And why are they doing this. To fight crime - hold it, we can do that by just checking and deleting the names on a current list. Otherwise what would it catch? Crimes against the environment? Incitement to travel?

Terrorism isn't going to be hugely effected. After all, if you're going to blow yourself up in a suicide bombing knowing who's entered the country in the last xxx days isn't going to help much....

It'll help still less against home grown terrorists - who this won't spot.

Even against illegal immigration - if they arn't allowed in the country why are they getting past the airport??

Here I was under the impression that the way to get into the UK was via a container or in the back of a lorry. Not first class on a 747.

Just another waste of money...

Unforgiveable? Really?

There are many things that are unforgiveable. Genocide, murder - this sort of thing.

But take a look here....

The top couple of paragraphs for those with limited net access:

Clarkson PM insult 'unforgivable'

Scottish politicians have reacted angrily to comments made by Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson about Gordon Brown.

Speaking to journalists in Sydney about the economic crisis, the presenter reportedly called the prime minister a "one-eyed Scottish idiot".

Gordon Banks, Labour MP for Ochil and South Perthshire, said the comment was "unforgivable".

Number 10 would only say that Clarkson "is entitled to his own interpretation of the economic circumstances".

Now, I'll be honest. Of the presenters and entertainers employed by the BBC, Clarkson is one of the few I really like. Not because he's really smart, hugely funny or even because he's good at reviewing cars. (He is a little of all of these).

No - it's because every now and again he says in public things that the rest of us think...but would never be broadcast on the BBC. Can you imagine, even for a second, any other public figure saying this?

Some might think it. A few bold ones might whisper between themselves. But Clarkson - he actualy has the balls to say it.

And lets be honest - who is complaining.

Is it Gorden Brown...nope. He knows that there's nothing he can say or do that will help. If he complains, he lacks a sense of humour. Worse, imagine the negative publicity..

Gordon Banks - a scottish labout MP is complaining. All I can say is that voting against an investigation into the Iraq war is unforgiveable.

Never rebeling against your own party on a matter of principle is unforgiveable.

Calling someone an idiot? Even a scottish idiot? Calling the prime minister a scottish idiot?

That's honesty.

Oh so funny - terribly funny...

First of all - the site, here, is not safe for work.

In fact, it might not be safe for anyone without a rather sick and twisted sense of humour to read.

It's a terrible joke site where absolutly NOTHING is sacred. It specialises in bad jokes. They will offend you.

But some of them will have you in tears, laughing.

But if you go there - it's at your own peril. But feel free to post some good ones :)
--

I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution.

1024×768.

--

An elderly British gentleman of 83 arrived in Berlin by plane.
At the German immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.
"You have been to Berlin before, sir?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.
The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to Germany previously.
"Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready."
The British gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. The British always have to show their passports on arrival in Germany!"
The elderly gentleman gave the German Immigration Officer a long hard look.
Then he quietly explained;
"Well, the last time I was here, I wasn't here long. And...we didn't land."

Stealing from those who saved...

Lets imagine if you will, an old lady. Lets call her Doris.

Doris worked hard for years, putting away a little money so when she retired she could afford a pension. In her twilight years she finaly retired with £100,000 in investments.

Now, assuming she she had investments that tracked the base rate of interest (rather then, say, the stock market!!) a year ago she would have got about 5% on that, so a modest £5,000. Enough to live on, with prudence and a state pension - that is, if she qualifies for it, with all the means testing...

Yesterday she would have been getting £1500 a year - which isn't much. I very much doubt it's possible to live on £30 a week in the uk. Fuel bills and council tax alone...

And today? Why, today the bank of England dropped interest rates again, to their lowest EVER recorded figure in the history of the bank of England. They now stand at 1%. Cutting our Doris' interest by 33%.

The real question then really is - at this rate, is saving for pension in the UK actualy worth the effort?

And what can our Doris do now??

I hate being ill

But then, don't we all?

One of the few upsides its that it gives you a chance to get back on track of minor tasks you've allowed to languish. One of these was converting some audio files I have. One of these happens to reference a hymn - "Abide with me".

Which reminded me of a question people ask me sometimes "How can you sing so may hymns [in the choir] if you're not a Christian?"

Well, the answer is simple - in terms of music, the devil really doesn't have all the best tunes.

Abide with me. Amazing grace. Those two everyone should know. Sung the right way they can bring tears to the eyes.

True, so can a lot of secular music - but the Christians have a long musical tradition. Bach, Mozart - pick a great classical composer and the odds are you can link them to a Church.

While performers regularly abuse great music - everyone now and again you hear it done right. Not often, but when you do it can sound beautiful.

(Side issue - Amazing Grace being a favourite for abuse. I can't remember the last time I heard a soloist who didn't rip it to shreds. Sometimes simplicity really is more!)

But the question I ask in return is how can people prefer something like this..



To this...