My second day in Canada, which I'm sure must have occurred, wasn't exactly memorable. Mostly because I was sleeping off 4700 miles of jet lag, but also because, well, nothing much happened.
So I'll tell a tale of the flight from hell.
Most flights from hell involve annoying people, turbulence, atrocious staff or paperwork problems. Mine involved neither.
What was the problem then?
My problem was blonde. A gorgeous blonde, who was lively, chatty, downright flirtatious, and all together a fun person. What was the downside? How was this hell?
Well, to start with, she found it totally impossible to stop moving, talking, waving her hands in the air...stillness wasn't for her. For the entire 10 hours or so in the plane, she talked. A few words in edge ways could be achieved every half hour or so.
To make matters worse was her voice. Some voices are a pleasure to listen to. Others are nice enough. Hers (lets just call her "Kate") was sweet, high, little girly (annoying little girly) and grating, with an Australian accent that made it much worse. A "little girl" voice on someone older then me!
After about an hour, it grated. Four hours in, I was starting to consider violence. By 8 hours...
It didn't help that she spent the first hour or so going on about her fiancee, how they were planning to get married real soon now, she'd picked out a dress (see, look at the photos) and they were looking at apartments at the weekend...
I, like most men, have no real objection to looking at a pretty girl in a nice dress. But looking at 17 different photos, each of a different dress on a manikin, and being given a detailed explanation of why it wasn't suitable isn't my preferred way of burning 95 minutes.
So as you can imagine, by the time I arrived I was more then ready to say "Goodbye, farewell"...and run to immigration!
Still, that was the flight from hell.
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