There are many definitions of power. There's electrical power, mechanical power...but the one I was thinking of was the power to determine your own life.
I was listening to the Radio on the way home last night, to what I can only describe as a Feminist Professor who was talking on the subject of Women at Work.
Now, apparently, or so we were being told, one of the main reasons that women don't go back to work after having children is because men don't take up the slack in the house work, the child care and the like.
But listening there seemed to be a point she missed. Not that I would claim to be superior to a Cambridge University Professor...but us plebs occasionally have a point.
You see, to me listening, it sounded as if the person with the power - the woman - made a choice to go back to work.
The man was expected to accept this decision - and in order to allow the woman to return to work was expected to pick up the slack.
So after working his socks off to pay for the family in the mean time, he's told she's going back to work...and now he can work even harder. Because she's decided to "have it all". The kids, the job.
I can understand why he might not be thrilled by this idea - he just has to adapt and work harder to do what she wants.
But in all honesty - don't we all drag our feet when someone uses power to dictate to us? When we're told do something because another wants it done, for their own reasons?
This academic seemed to miss the minor fact that in the situations that were described one person had the power of choice - and one didn't. That the person who didn't make the choice was expected to work harder without complaint.
She didn't even appear to notice.
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Before anyone says the obvious - I'm all for equality. But I'm for equality for everyone.
What a couple wants to do is for the couple to decide - we don't need people with axes to grind on the radio complaining about whole groups of people - for the crime of not willingly accepting the consequences of other people's decisions.
There has to be a cost to "having it all" - you can't expect everything for nothing.
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2 comments:
Sometimes I just *love* the bloody feminists of the 50s and 60s who spoke out about "having it all" and being "supermum" - they mostly worked for the (for want of a better word) fun of it.
I HAVE to work. When I have kids I will expect the husband to "pick up the slack" as I will be working longer hours than him, harder than him (mentally anyhoo), under waaaay more pressure than him and if those feminists of the 50s and 60s had their way I would be swanning home to my dear children who are well-behaved etc etc...
The reality is is that I earn more than he does (by 10K at this point) and we need me to work. Gone are the days when the man earns enough to take care of his wife and family, and she can decide whether she would like to live in the corporate world or to see her babies grow up. That world left 20 years ago.
Nowadays women have to work in order to earn enough money (jointly) so that the family can survive. The only real choice is when does she go back.
Oh, and Martin? The question of "slack" is that as wifey was home for 6+ months hubby has gotten used to not helping with the housework, cooking etc. and gets upset when wifey comes home and STILL has to do these things only now she is fuming cos he isn't helping her as he used to!
Agreed. Not only that Martin seems to forget that it is not just the wife and children who make the mess. I have seen the bathroom after he has been in there and don't mention the bedroom. If a wife is working all day or a good part of it to help support the family - does the shopping on the way home, cooks, cleans etc in the evening and weekends - why shouldn't she expect some help. Why should the husband get to come home, eat his meal and then just fall asleep............... while the wife is still working!
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