And this will help....how?

Now, by this point I believe every reader here will know I have little time for the govenments IT policy here.

Bluntly, I believe that a legion of winged monkeys could do a better job.

Here's another example.

The first couple of paragraphs for those reading in interesting places:

The government is compiling a database to track and store the international travel records of millions of Britons.

Computerised records of all 250 million journeys made by individuals in and out of the UK each year will be kept for up to 10 years.

The government says the database is essential in the fight against crime, illegal immigration and terrorism.

But opposition MPs and privacy campaigners fear it is a significant step towards a surveillance society.

The intelligence centre will store names, addresses, telephone numbers, seat reservations, travel itineraries and credit card details of travellers.

And what could be wrong with that? Well, let's see...

First, we've got the massive invasion of privacy issues. Why should the government know where I go on holiday? More to the point, what good will it do them? Of these 250-million records how many will actually be terrorists or criminals?

On the other hand, if the plan was to run the name of every traveler against a list of known wanted people and then destroyed - I'd be happier. But that's not what they want to do. They want to know everywhere I've been in the last 10 years.

Then there's the usefulness of the information. Let's suppose...we're looking for a terrorist we know trained in a terrorist training camp in Canada. How useful is that information? None at all. Every year millions of trips will be from or to Canada.

The sheer volume of junk information makes this sort of exercise damn near useless. Even then, what if they traveled to Canada (ok, Palestine is more likely) via some harmless third party? Or even the 4th, 5th or 17th harmless country? Or booked a cruise and spent 6 months traveling around the world to get there?

So not only should the government not be collecting this, once they do it'll be useless.

And why are they doing this. To fight crime - hold it, we can do that by just checking and deleting the names on a current list. Otherwise what would it catch? Crimes against the environment? Incitement to travel?

Terrorism isn't going to be hugely effected. After all, if you're going to blow yourself up in a suicide bombing knowing who's entered the country in the last xxx days isn't going to help much....

It'll help still less against home grown terrorists - who this won't spot.

Even against illegal immigration - if they arn't allowed in the country why are they getting past the airport??

Here I was under the impression that the way to get into the UK was via a container or in the back of a lorry. Not first class on a 747.

Just another waste of money...

Unforgiveable? Really?

There are many things that are unforgiveable. Genocide, murder - this sort of thing.

But take a look here....

The top couple of paragraphs for those with limited net access:

Clarkson PM insult 'unforgivable'

Scottish politicians have reacted angrily to comments made by Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson about Gordon Brown.

Speaking to journalists in Sydney about the economic crisis, the presenter reportedly called the prime minister a "one-eyed Scottish idiot".

Gordon Banks, Labour MP for Ochil and South Perthshire, said the comment was "unforgivable".

Number 10 would only say that Clarkson "is entitled to his own interpretation of the economic circumstances".

Now, I'll be honest. Of the presenters and entertainers employed by the BBC, Clarkson is one of the few I really like. Not because he's really smart, hugely funny or even because he's good at reviewing cars. (He is a little of all of these).

No - it's because every now and again he says in public things that the rest of us think...but would never be broadcast on the BBC. Can you imagine, even for a second, any other public figure saying this?

Some might think it. A few bold ones might whisper between themselves. But Clarkson - he actualy has the balls to say it.

And lets be honest - who is complaining.

Is it Gorden Brown...nope. He knows that there's nothing he can say or do that will help. If he complains, he lacks a sense of humour. Worse, imagine the negative publicity..

Gordon Banks - a scottish labout MP is complaining. All I can say is that voting against an investigation into the Iraq war is unforgiveable.

Never rebeling against your own party on a matter of principle is unforgiveable.

Calling someone an idiot? Even a scottish idiot? Calling the prime minister a scottish idiot?

That's honesty.

Oh so funny - terribly funny...

First of all - the site, here, is not safe for work.

In fact, it might not be safe for anyone without a rather sick and twisted sense of humour to read.

It's a terrible joke site where absolutly NOTHING is sacred. It specialises in bad jokes. They will offend you.

But some of them will have you in tears, laughing.

But if you go there - it's at your own peril. But feel free to post some good ones :)
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I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution.

1024×768.

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An elderly British gentleman of 83 arrived in Berlin by plane.
At the German immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.
"You have been to Berlin before, sir?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.
The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to Germany previously.
"Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready."
The British gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. The British always have to show their passports on arrival in Germany!"
The elderly gentleman gave the German Immigration Officer a long hard look.
Then he quietly explained;
"Well, the last time I was here, I wasn't here long. And...we didn't land."

Stealing from those who saved...

Lets imagine if you will, an old lady. Lets call her Doris.

Doris worked hard for years, putting away a little money so when she retired she could afford a pension. In her twilight years she finaly retired with £100,000 in investments.

Now, assuming she she had investments that tracked the base rate of interest (rather then, say, the stock market!!) a year ago she would have got about 5% on that, so a modest £5,000. Enough to live on, with prudence and a state pension - that is, if she qualifies for it, with all the means testing...

Yesterday she would have been getting £1500 a year - which isn't much. I very much doubt it's possible to live on £30 a week in the uk. Fuel bills and council tax alone...

And today? Why, today the bank of England dropped interest rates again, to their lowest EVER recorded figure in the history of the bank of England. They now stand at 1%. Cutting our Doris' interest by 33%.

The real question then really is - at this rate, is saving for pension in the UK actualy worth the effort?

And what can our Doris do now??

I hate being ill

But then, don't we all?

One of the few upsides its that it gives you a chance to get back on track of minor tasks you've allowed to languish. One of these was converting some audio files I have. One of these happens to reference a hymn - "Abide with me".

Which reminded me of a question people ask me sometimes "How can you sing so may hymns [in the choir] if you're not a Christian?"

Well, the answer is simple - in terms of music, the devil really doesn't have all the best tunes.

Abide with me. Amazing grace. Those two everyone should know. Sung the right way they can bring tears to the eyes.

True, so can a lot of secular music - but the Christians have a long musical tradition. Bach, Mozart - pick a great classical composer and the odds are you can link them to a Church.

While performers regularly abuse great music - everyone now and again you hear it done right. Not often, but when you do it can sound beautiful.

(Side issue - Amazing Grace being a favourite for abuse. I can't remember the last time I heard a soloist who didn't rip it to shreds. Sometimes simplicity really is more!)

But the question I ask in return is how can people prefer something like this..



To this...

Real Names

As you've probably noticed, I don't like names on the blog. I try to never refer to anyone by a real name. When I need an identifier - I pick something that won't identify people.

It's fine for people to identify themselves, but naming others - I have a thing about it.

So please, in the comments don't?

I've deleted one comment today because of it. I'm not going to go through the archive of comments though.

It's not me being a nasty meanie.

Well, no more then usual...

Weird Dreams

We've all had weird dreams - falling, dreaming of sleeping, dreaming of worlds where the dead walk and the streets are flooded with the blood of innocents.

Ok, alright, those last two might only be me...

Still, this one - this one deserves special mention. For you see, last night I dreamed I was having a bath. A bath isn't something I usually do - mainly because years ago mother ripped out the bath and replaced it with just a shower - so there was nothing prompting this.

I know, I know - baths aren't that unusual, so why is it weird?

Have you ever had a bath in a non-Newtonian fluid?

Neither have I...although I've now dreamt about it.

But now I want to know - what would it be like....

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And yes, as mentioned by someone in the office, the easiest and cheapest non-newtonian fluid is really, REALLY thick custard. So thick that if you hit it with a spoon, it bounces.

But if you rest a finger on it gently it sinks straight though...