Saturday, December 20, 2008

Promised things

As some of you might remember, I promised to post a few comments that were made while I was in Canada.

If this offends anyone - I've taken out the worst ones. And I firmly believe that if god exists, s/he's got a sense of humour.

Now, to set the scene...

It's a catholic church, with a christening service going on in the background at the front. All in french...

Two warcraft players hiding at the back of the church.

Some of the more printable comments:

"Can you get instant quest text here?"
--
"Rep grinding with the catholic church...is there a daily quest?"
-
"How many points is a service worth? Is it extra on Sundays?"
--
"Are christenings repeatable?"
"Yes...but you need a rare quest drop."
--
"What do you get for being exalted here?"
"Excommunicated."

Friday, December 19, 2008

While I'm ill...

When I'm ill I have a very clear view of what I want to do.

Very little.

I want to stay warm, I want to be distracted and above all, I don't want to do anything that will last. Because five days later I'll look back at it and think "I could do better if I was blond. Look at the lines on that!!"

But believe it or not, playing on the computer (which you'd imagine fills most of the requirements) isn't the first thing on my list.

It's about 5th.

Sleeping in a nice warm bed comes in at 4th - although, to be honest, sleeping is usually on my top 20 list of things to do. So that's not a huge surprise.

Third on the list might surprise. It's not very often that I look at porn - because, well, I'm not a fan. But 3rd is being wrapped in a blanket, with a cat curled up on my lap, watching Car Porn.

Yep - I'm a not-so-closet Topgear fan. Available on "Dave" - the one non-news channel on digital TV worth watching in the day time.

(You lot have FILTHY minds!)

Curling continues the theme with two, although not with a cat. Because they're are things cats won't do. Or can't do.

I've never tried to get kessy to cook - worth a try, do you think?

But the thing I'd rather be doing - the item at the top of my list...isn't printable.

Not printable because...well...ok.

It starts with curling. And I'm not talking about THIS.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

It was a mistake...

Post edited to fix html like elements being hidden

Today I had the task of visiting a nurse we have based in a school - shockingly, she's the school nurse.

So I wondered over to reception and asked for her by name - and this is how the conversation went...

Me: Hi, I'm here to see Jane Doe?
Receptionist: I'll let her know you're here. What's your name?
Me: Me? I'm [My Name]
Receptionist: [phones] Heya....got some one here for you........I didn't ask...one min...
Receptionist: What form are you in?
Me: I don't go to school here.
Receptionist: Why don't you go to your own school's nurse?
Me: [blinks]
Me: Could you please tell her that the technician from [company], [my name] is her to see her?
Receptionist: [shakes head slowly]
Me: [hands over company ID]
Receptionist: Oh. I'll tell her. Arn't you a bit young to-
Me: No. I'm old enough to legally have a child in this school. So please, just get her.

The mistake I made?

Shaving.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I don't believe it...

While writing the previous post I used (or nearly used, but edited out - I'm not going hunting for it now!) a reference to a rubber duck fetish.

I did this by trying to think of the most unlikely thing I could think of.

However, on googling "rubber duck fetish" I came up with about 363,000 pages.

I really did choke on my tea.

The other potentially unlikely thing I mentioned was a women wrapped in Christmas paper.

I'm not sure I'm brave enough to look.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

But think of the children!

I'm all in favour of protecting children from some things.

As far as I'm concerned a child should never have to fear abuse, unwelcome sexual attention or violence.

But then, I'd say the same thing about adults as well.

Lets be clear - for the record - that no child should ever be sexually involved with an adult, willingly or not - who is more a couple of years their senior.

A willing sixteen and fifteen year old? It's impossible to stop - and not something we should try to stop. That sort of age gap appears within a school year. Seventeen and fifteen....hmmm... - but you see my point.

However, where I differ in opinion with some others is the issue of images. Take for example, this.

In this case an encyclopedia has been censored for perhaps 90% of UK internet users - wikipedia, the 4th most visited site on the planet - censored.

Not because of a new image, but an old one. A thirty year old album cover.

For those who haven't seen it, it's of a naked girl in (what in an older, more developed person) would be considered a provocative pose. Naked - but with a broken glass type effect concealing certain things.

It's certainly indecent, uninteresting and in very poor taste - but if the Internet Watch Foundation hadn't done anything then it would have been consigned to the dustbins of history. Instead it's now wikipedia's most popular page.

But no. Instead, they classified it as an "potentially illegal indecent image of a child hosted outside the UK". Which I have a problem with.

You see, there have been laws in the UK for a long time - a very long time. For the last couple of hundred years there have been assorted crimes and penalties for obscene publications.

This album cover was released in the UK and is still available.

So let's get be clear - this picture, taken with consent of the child (And I would imagine the parents!) has had 30+ years to upset people. It did manage to upset people.

In a couple of countries it was re-released with a different cover - but not because of legality. Because it's tasteless.

This album cover was taken to the FBI back in May - but they did nothing. Because there's nothing bad about it. No child was hurt in any way, doesn't really depict anything.

It's not an illegal picture. Or hasn't been so far.

But no. The IWF put it on the banned list, causing a host of other problems...because it Might Be illegal.

This angers me for two reasons. Firstly, because if you start banning encyclopedias from showing things it's easy to start with things like this picture...then where do you stop?

The very far end of this would be banning any picture of women, dressed, undressed or wrapped in Christmas paper. Why? Because there's a religion (Islam) who believes that the sight of a women who's not drapped in thick, shapeless cloth is Indecent and Might Drive Men Into Wild Rape Rampages.

(Oh, just think of the poor women, attacked by these provoked men, Hide them, for their own good!)

And the other reason? To find an image like the one recently banned sexually interesting requires a very sick mind. To someone like that, walking past a school, looking at the pictures in a teenagers magazine or watching children's TV could be as exciting.

You can't stop that.

They need help.

Banning cover art from an album from thirty years ago really isn't going to do it. It was still available (with a better, higher quality image) on amazon and the band's website, as well as hundreds of other sites, mirrors and caches.

Do something about people who actualy abuse children to create images. Track down and throw the book at anyone who pays for this sort of material.*

But address the problem we have NOW. Help children NOW.

Don't take action about a picture that even the girl involved with was happy about, then and 15 years later.

Protect children - not "The Children".

--
1) Let the flaming commence
*) I could make an argument against this. But another day.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Shattered Dreams

I dream of stars
But in winter ice only,
Freezes my poor heart.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Why child protection laws don't work

Tonight, I ended up drifting over to my not-so-local cadet group that I'm loosely attached to. (Don't ask why....)

Anyway, turned out there was a Surprise Child Protection Inspection.

Yay.

Now, it's the last week of rehearsal for a pantomime they're putting on for the parents, friends and others - anyone they can drag there. So it was the dress rehearsal.

The panto is beauty and the beast - and Beauty was there in her dress. Now, I know I'm a sucker for a girl in a dress - always have been, probably always will be.

But my favourite cadet - (yep, I have a favourite - so shoot me. She reminds me in a way of me - that same ability to jump around and have three different conversations at the same time with the same person. ) - turns up looking Good in a dress.

If the child protection people were not there, I'd of told her that she looked good. Because, well, she did. (Yes, she's 10 years younger then me - I'm just saying she looked good. Shhessh, you lot have dirty minds.) And none of the cadets complimented her.

But the rehearsal came to an end, and she walked home in the rain in that dress.

If it wasn't for the child protection people, I'd have arranged matters so that she'd be driven home. Me, mother, another parent - because while the Village is mostly safe you never know who's out there.

And a dress like that pulls the attention of most males over the age of 15.

I'd have escorted her home myself, if needs be. In the rain.

But, no. Child protection.

Grrrr.