Fairness...

For those who follow the UK news, we've just had the "Pre-Budget Report". This a time when the governing party gets to alter it's predicted economic statistics, maybe tweak things a little.

In this one, they tweaked lots, to the tune of billions.

All the time, talking about fairness. But really - what is fairness?

Imagine three brothers sitting there, watching a film. They've got a bucket of popcorn to share.

The simplest and "fairest" way would be to divide it into three bowels, meaning each gets an equal portion and can do what they like with it. Salt it, butter it, add toffee or throw it at the TV.

Another "fair" way to go would be to divide it up based on who likes popcorn more. Little Paul there doesn't like it...so give him a small handful and about HALF for me and thee. Yay!!

Or we can go by need - give the most to the hungry one, a little to the one who's just stuffed himself with chocolate and a middling amount to the guy in the middle.

Perhaps though we should look at the ability to buy more. The middle brother has a job, so he's got the most money - he gets the least. The young one gets next to no pocket money, so he gets most...and the old brother, who's into girls and goths get a moderate amount.

Perhaps though we should look at effort - it was the eldest who arranged a movie and got the popcorn - the most deserving. It was the middle brother who throw it into the microwave...and the younger brother dancing around under everybodies feet singing "Bang bang, he shot me down..." as it popped - clearly doing nothing to help, so he should get the merest crumbs.

All of theses are "fair" - from a certain point of view.

Fairness is purely, simply defined from your own moral code.

So sitting there, listening to politicians using that word - fair - I'm always hit by the fact that it doesn't mean "fair" in the sense you, me and the garden gnome means it.

To them, it means "The way I want it to be."

The gits.